Goodbye 2008

I don't think I'll miss you. You were not the greatest year of my life. Looking onward, I'm hoping for a more calm and stable year in 2009.

Saturday

Cara and Brennan caught snuggling...

Our slider door to the backyard, iced over - we didn't go anywhere yesterday; my driveway was just as bad.

Christmas, Again

Friday we traveled to Boone to celebrate with my grandma and great-grandma. We had a good time with a non-traditional Christmas meal - chili and grilled cheese sandwiches. Then we headed to the nursing home for visiting and opening of some presents.


Gma Marge and Brian talkingCara and Grandma talking
Cara, happy with her Barbie gift
Family...
Mom and Great-Gma Hazel, eating her fave meal of KFC
This was our drive back home...

Christmas Day

Yes, the present opening happened...

The kids in their Christmas pajamas - I love this photo.

Thank You For Gift Cards!!

The kids love to shop, and this is what they picked out from gift cards this year! As you can tell, they are very happy about their choices.

Dad's Family Christmas

These are all the little great-grandchildren of the Myers' family. My grandparents' presence was missed. Below is the newest member of the family - adorable Max. Congrats again to my cousin Annie and her husband, Kevin. That's my mom holding Max, who is covered with the baby quilt she made.

Before Christmas

Kids playing in the snow

Cara helping clean

Merry Christmas!

Why I Am Tired and Need Sleep

The photos you see below tell part of the story. One reason I am tired is Cara at night. She has become increasingly more difficult to get to sleep at a decent time. This last week the time has changed to around 11:00. Trust me, I'm doing all I can to get this changed to an earlier time, but it's not easy. The other reason I am so tired is Mason in the morning. He's in a phase, and has been for a while, of waking up early. Like 5:30 early. Or 3:30 early. You'd think I could just tell him to go back to sleep, back to bed, or at the very least go watch T.V. But no, he needs to be constantly watched so he doesn't do anything he shouldn't - like wake his brother/sister up, eat a whole box of cereal, break something, etc. He is totally hyperactive and impulsive in the mornings, and he can't be given his medicine until 7, which doesn't kick in until 7:40 or so. So it can feel like forever for me.
Obviously I'm not getting much sleep here. Mason wasn't trying to ham it up for the camera; I just caught a typical morning with him. If you could only imagine the soundtrack that would go along with these photos!

Brennan's Perspective

This kid is so great. Words can't even describe him fully. He's so loving, always giving me hugs and saying, "I missed you, Mom" or "I love you, Mom". He's so sincere. And he does give awesome hugs. He also loves to laugh. I captured this moment of him laughing at something on T.V., and this shows his fun personality. The other pictures are of him wearing a Steelers uniform, which he covets.
Brennan has grown so much recently, I can barely keep up. And it's in funny ways... for example, most family members are aware of how much he couldn't stand to put lotion on his body or get his hair cut. You would think we were harming him by taking care of him. WELL, no more. Brennan said to me the other day, "Mom, you know that place where we went to get my haircut?" I said yes, thinking... you mean the place we go monthly that you can't stand??? He says, "I wanna go back there. I want my hair cut; it's too fluffy." I'm like, "What? Who are you?" He's always fought me on the hair issue; I've told him when he is older and can take care of it himself he can do whatever he wants, but for now the choice is to keep it short. And then, the next morning he says to me, pulling up his pant legs, "Mom, I'm gonna go put some lotion on. My legs are really dry." My jaw dropped open, literally. He laughed at me, smiled, and said, "I know, it's like I'm a whole new person!"

Brennan and Cara

Last night Brennan started a wrestling match with Cara. This is the way they play together; not games or books, but wrestling. And Brennan always gets the hugs when he goes somewhere or just gets back.

Christmas Cookies?

Check!

Cara's Christmas Program

Cara's preschool put on a Christmas program called "The Angels' Story" tonight. She was very excited about this, and she did a great job. She was quite animated in front of everyone, and she did lots of waving at us! Yep, the photos go in reverse order, but I'm too tired to fix it...

Both Boys in the News

Click on THIS to see the a photo gallery of the boys in the Urbandale section of The Des Moines Register.

Gingerbread House

Cara and Mason happily decorated this gingerbread house last night. Don't you just love Cara's cheesy smiles?? Brennan was watching football, so he opted out of the activity. By the way, it's the funniest thing to me that Brennan loves to sit up in the loft and watch football all the time now. And not just the games; he's watching sports news. I just find it so funny that he's doing that as a 9-yr-old.

Elf Dance

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Mood Disorders research

From http://movingmountainsforkids.org

Mood Disorders / Mental Illness

Children arrive with a distinct personality and way of reacting to this world. Some babies, from the moment they exit the womb, arrive yelling, screaming and kicking their legs. They don't sleep. They have colic. They are fussy. Other babies arrive in a more laid-back fashion. They eat, sleep, and snuggle just as the Baby Books describe. What I'd like to discuss in this section, is the babies, who are more unique or different in the way they respond.

As these unique babies grow, their personalities and behaviors change also. They may be moody, aggressive, reactive, or oppositional in some way. Their moods may change quickly, even during the period of 24 hours. They may have weak social skills, or inability to keep friends. These kids may have a poor self-image and be critical of themselves for areas of their life that they recognize are different or more difficult than their siblings and friends. As life becomes more difficult, the depression often gets worse, and the cycle repeats itself. Add the hormonal changes of puberty to this already complex set of issues, and coping with this type of life, can almost seem impossible.

This challenge affects not only the child, but the whole family. As the mood disorder continues, coping mechanism are stressed and new ways of coping are needed. This is another job in itself, besides parenting the child.

Terms such as depression, manic-depression, Bipolar, or Mood Disorder, may be used to define these kids. As the parents seek help in raising them, professional assistance is often needed, because the "normal" way of parenting, just does not work. What may have worked for two other kids in the same family, does not work for this one. It can be very frustrating and exhausting to parent a child with a mood disorder, is a gross understatement.

What is a mood disorder? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), divides mood disorders into two categories: depressive disorders and bipolar disorders and then gives a detailed list of criteria for each group. Family history of depression or mood disorders is one of several risk factors. Papolos & Papolos, The Bipolar Child, provide detailed explanations of the many types of mood disorders and how they present throughout the life-span. They also elaborate on the difficulty making a correct diagnosis, medications used for treatment, and coping with Bipolar Disorders.

Often child psychiatrists will delay giving a more specific diagnosis than "mood disorder' until the child reaches the age of 18. Such caution arises from a desire to avoid falsely labeling a child and the need for observation over time to develop a more precise diagnosis. Sometimes the term, "mood disorder NOS" will be used. This means a mood disorder "not otherwise specified." This term is another way of not pining down one label or diagnosis to explain the child, when they may fall into several possible diagnoses. These various ways of describing similar symptoms can be confusing to parents, as they struggle to understand their child or teenager. Also, parents may seek a second opinion, and receive a different diagnosis for their child. "Now what?" may be the next question a parent thinks.

To complicate the picture even more, co-morbid conditions often exist along with a mood disorder. Co-morbid means a secondary or additional diagnosis exists which affects their health. For example, the child might also have a heart condition, diabetes, thyroid disease, or a learning disability. These illnesses or conditions would be co-morbidities which may impact the mood disorder, and therefore the total health of the person has to be considered when confirming a diagnosis.

It is virtually impossible to discuss mood disorders, or any type of mental illness, without also discussing medications. There are many resources that discuss medications, dosing, side effects, and adverse reactions. Some of these books are listed at the bottom of this page. Most medications have to be tried for several weeks, before you can evaluate the effectiveness of the drug. These weeks can seem like years, if your child is struggling and unhappy. When a second medication is added, then you have to observe for any potential interactions of the meds. A combination of medications is often required, for a child with a mood disorder to be stabilized. It is not uncommon for the child to go thru multiple medications and combinations of medications, before the right medications are found. It is not unusual for this search to take several years. In the meantime, the child and the family are suffering.

In order to not falsely blame a drug for not "working", one must also look at many other factors besides just the medication. Some of these other factors are various changes occurring at the same time, in a kid's life: changes in their environment, family or living arrangement changes, school changes, and so forth. Since no one exists in a vacuum, many other factors are always impacting upon a person's mood and behavior. All of these factors combine to make evaluation of a drug's effectiveness more difficult. Was the improvement or worsening of mood, due to the medication, or these other factors?

Some will argue the label is not what is really important. It is getting the correct treatment and help that is most important. But my view is, without the correct diagnosis (label), how can you be sure you are receiving the best?, the correct medications, for example. Also, different diagnosis have different prognosis. I want to know as a parent, what the future may bring, so I can prepare myself, my family, and my child. I don't want to be surprised. I want to read, study and learn as much as possible, so I can take the best care of my child. Unfortunately, many psychiatrists are reluctant to give a specific diagnosis for a child or teen. This compounds the parents' frustration.

While you are waiting to find the "right" psychiatrist, "right" diagnosis, the right medication, what is happening in the meantime? Your child is growing up, and missing out on having a life. This can be one of the toughest things about mood disorders. Parents want the best for their child. They want them to have fun, friends, and joy in their life. They don't want them to miss out on a having a childhood or being a teenager that participates in school, after school activities and so on. This desire fuels the need for prompt help. There is a sense of urgency because the days are slipping by and your child is not well.

Joining a group through the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation is one way to get support and additional information. There are email groups who "chat" on line and offer daily suggestions or just a place to vent. Realizing you are not alone in the struggle is one of the biggest things these resources offer.

Resources:

Papolos, D. & Papolos, J. (1999). The Bipolar Child. New York: Broadway Books.

Schoen-Johnson, Barbara (1997). Adaptation and Growth: Psychiatric-Mental Health Nursing. Philadelphia: Lippincott. Fourth edition.

Wilens, T. (2001). Straight Talk about Psychiatric Medications for Kids. New York: Guilford Press.

Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation: www.bpkids.com

National Institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov

National Mental Health Association: www.nmha.org

Way Back

These picture are some of the furthest back that I have on my computer currently. I just thought it would be fun to make a little collage of Brennan and Mason at these ages.

Mall Christmas Trip

Today I took Cara and her friend, Leah, to a mall for some Christmas fun.

Riding the train...

An attempt at a good picture... right before Cara ran away...


The girls playing at the play area...


Of course, with Santa...
Leah's turn...

Christmas Party

On Sunday the agency I work for, The Respite Connection, held a Christmas party at a bowling alley. There was free pizza and pop, art activities, Santa, and of course bowling! The kids had a great time. Check out the pics...

The boys helping Cara decorate a cookie

Mason with his cookie

Mason with a closer shot of the cookie


Mason and Santa

Brennan's artwork

Recent Photos

I've been neglecting this blog lately... for many reasons! I've been sick, busy, distracted, etc. So these photos will have to do.

Cute shot of Mason

We celebrated Thanksgiving at my parents' house on Thanksgiving Day. The next day I did some early morning shopping with a friend. Later we put our Christmas tree up, but I was so out of it - tired and sick, that I did a minimal amount of work. Brennan took charge on the assembly of the tree, and as you can see he was very focused on it. Mason and Cara did most of the decorating after I put the lights on. The next day I moved ornaments around so it was a little more balanced.
Brennan has been having fun with the snow lately, and he's doing really good at school. Mason and Cara are having some difficulties, but they are both enjoying the holiday season.

Our front door


My kids plus 2 neighbors (D and S), watching "Home Alone" last night. They had popcorn and cookies, which they loved.